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The title of this message may sound like a contradiction of terms.
Servant leadership seems to fit in with the absurd categories of
frigid heat, smooth roughness, dry wetness, light darkness, friendly
animosity, or ignorant intelligence. The words servant leadership
could be contradictory, depending on how they are defined. But in the
biblical use of the terms, leadership does not mean dictatorship, nor
is a servant someone who is mindlessly subservient to every whim of a
master.
What kind of leadership are we talking about?
Biblical leadership is responsible, compassionate, understanding,
accountable, competent, respectable, authoritative, pioneering,
exemplary, and God-fearing. Being a leader does not mean making all
the decisions. Nor does it refer to being the "boss" in
marriage, the church, or society at large. Leadership implies taking
initiative, accepting responsibility, and shouldering the weight of
accountability before God.
What kind of servanthood are we talking about?
Biblical servanthood is responsive, respectful, willing, loving,
self-sacrificing, and submissive. Servanthood does not mean
unthinking obedience. What it does mean is a willingness to lower
oneself, to humbly serve another person, to put the best interests of
someone else above your own enjoyment.
"Wait just a minute!" some men might
cry out. "Doesn't the Bible say that wives are to be submissive
to their husbands?" Yes, it does (Eph. 5:22). But in a broader
sense, it states that men and women are to submit to one another
(v.21), and husbands are to love their wives "just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for it" (v.25).
How can servanthood and leadership be
compatible? It may seem like trying to mix oil and water. In the verses
that were mentioned above, Christ is the perfect example of how those
two attributes can be combined. He had the power to force us to do
what He wanted, but instead He put up with rejection, disobedience,
and even crucifixion (Phil. 2:5-11). Jesus described the goal of His
life this way: ". . . the Son of Man did not come to be served,
but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Matt.
20:28).
If anyone had the right to dictate by virtue
of His authority and power, it was Jesus Christ. But He came to earth
and took on human flesh, patiently putting up with imperfect and
stubborn people in order to provide exactly what we needed. He
provided strong leadership, but His love for people permeated His
leadership style. He never forced anyone to follow Him. Rather He
earned the respect and obedience of men and women. They willingly
followed Him. That's the kind of leadership men need to provide
today.
How does servant leadership work out in
different roles? The following brief listing offers some examples of
how it works.
As a single man. The single male needs to show
people of all ages and both sexes that he cares about others, not
just himself. He must model a life that is worth following (1 Tim.
4:12-16). Single women should be attracted to him because of his
character, stability, and desire to edify others.
As a husband. The husband is said to be the
head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church (1 Cor. 11:3),
and he is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). A
husband must visibly and verbally put love into action if he expects
his wife to be willing to follow his lead.
As a father. The father is responsible for the
training of his children (Deut 6:6-9; Eph. 6:4), he is to provide for
their needs (1 Tim. 5:8), and he is to treat them in a way that does
not exasperate them (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).
As a church leader. Men in leadership in the
church must lead the people under their care, much as a shepherd
leads, feeds, protects, and nurtures a flock of sheep (1 Pet. 5:1-4).
As a member of society. The Old Testament
character Daniel demonstrated a willingness to take a stand for the
Lord. He did what was right, no matter what the personal risk (Dan.
1,6). He made a difference because he courageously honored the Lord in
a pagan world.
Why is leadership in marriage and in the
church a male quality? It's not because males are superior beings
(though many men would like to think so). Men and women are equals in
Christ (Gal. 3:28). The issue is God-ordained function, not
man-ordained bigotry. Somehow we need to get it out of our heads that
leadership means superiority and supportive roles mean inferiority.
After all, God the Father is the head of Christ, yet they are equal
(1 Cor. 11:3).
The first indication of male leadership comes
in the creation narrative of Genesis. Adam was created first and Eve
was created to complement (complete) the man. God said, "It is
not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper
comparable to him" (Gen. 2:18). First Corinthians 11:7-11 and 1
Timothy 2:13 state that men should be leaders in the church because
men were designed to lead, as evidenced by Adam being created first
and Eve created to be his helping counterpart.
What does headship mean, and where does the
term come from? When the topic of headship is introduced, many people
suddenly get the mental picture of a Hitler-type dictator who gives
orders (often unreasonable). First Corinthians 11:3 uses the word
head, as does Ephesians 5:23. This term includes the meaning of
"origin" or "source," so some have interpreted
headship to mean that woman was created from man. They conclude that
as Christ is the source of life for all believers, so man (Adam) was
the source of woman's life.
However, it hardly makes sense that Paul
intended to exclude the concept of leadership or authority from the
concept of headship. He uses the term headship to denote God's
relationship to Christ, and Christ's leadership over all believers,
the church (Eph. 1:22; 4:15; 5:23; Col. 1:18; 2:19).
This concept of leadership in the home is
included in the list of qualifications for church leaders in 1
Timothy 3:4,5,12. In Titus 2:5, the apostle Paul told the older women
to teach the younger women to be "obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
Is male headship a result of the fall? And if
so, shouldn't we as redeemed people be working to reverse the effects
of the fall? Some people have argued that position quite forcefully,
but their arguments run against the biblical data. The apostle Paul
made the point of headship based on the order of creation (1 Cor.
11:8,9; 1 Tim. 2:13,14). Headship is not a result of the fall; rather
it has been perverted by the fall.
When God explained the punishment on men and
women because of sin, He said to the woman:
I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your
conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall
be for your husband, and he shall rule over you (Gen. 3:16).
This verse, particularly the phrase "your
desire shall be for your husband," has been interpreted in many
different ways. Some Bible teachers have taken this to mean that the
woman, because of the fall, will be drawn to depend on man. These
teachers also believe that the phrase "he shall rule over
you" is a positive statement about the man bringing order and
security into the woman's life. Others, however, see the man's rule
described here as an unnatural domination over women.
There is another possible interpretation that
seems to fit the context. Some Bible teachers are convinced that the
Hebrew word for desire comes from an Arabic root that means "to
urge," "to drive on," or "to seek control."
They also point out that the same Hebrew words for desire and rule
are used in the same grammatical structure in both Genesis 3:16 and
4:7. In chapter 4, it is sin that "desires" Cain and wants
to force him to do what is wrong. But Cain could choose to stay in
control and reject the temptation to sin. The word desire in both
3:16 and 4:7 could be understood as a strong desire to control. One
result of the fall, therefore, is that women would have an unnatural
desire to control men. And the man's proper role as leader would
degenerate into a despotic rule.
While this last interpretation is disputed by
some, it does accurately describe the battle of the sexes since the
fall. Instead of peaceful harmony where man and woman complement each
other, each has tried to dominate and manipulate the other for
selfish goals. Instead of acting as complements, they have behaved
more like contradictions.
Should men expect women to "heel, roll
over, and play dead" when men are around? Must men be the
initiators of ideas and actions, and must women sit back or follow
from a respectable distance? Should we think of women like some
people think of children, that they should be seen and not heard?
Archie Bunker thought so on the All in the Family television series.
But that is not what God expects.
One look at the examples in both the Old and
New Testaments shows that godly women were not passive slaves. They
made a significant positive difference in their situations and made a
valuable contribution to both social and spiritual life (Prov.
31:10-31; 1 Sam. 25:18-44; 2 Kin. 22:14-20; Judg. 4:1-24; Ruth;
Esth.; Luke 2:36-38; 8:1-3; Rom. 16:1-15; Phil. 4:3; 2 Tim. 1:5).
Why is a servant attitude so important?
Leadership without loving service produces an unbalanced, hideous
creature. To be willing to take the role of a servant requires
deliberate acts of love. The kind of man worth following expresses
the love described for us in 1 Corinthians 13. This love:
is patient
is kind
is not envious
is not boastful
is not proud
is not rude
is not selfish
is not easily angered
is not a grudge-keeper
is not an evil thinker
is not a fan of evil
rejoices in truth
protects
trusts
hopes
perseveres
A man who expresses that kind of love won't
have trouble finding a wife, family, or a congregation who would be
more than willing to submit to his leadership. Yet for many men,
showing that kind of love may seem threatening. Such love requires
that a man become vulnerable to being hurt and rejected, that he put
aside his pride and humble himself for the good of others.
Men, are you willing to accept the challenge?
You have a tremendous responsibility and great opportunities to set
the pace, to be an example in your home, your church, your community,
your world. No one said it would be easy, but if you are a child of
God by faith, you have His Spirit within you (1 Cor. 12:13; Rom.
8:9). And with the Spirit within, you have all the resources you need
to fulfill God's expectations for you. The kind of servant leadership
God desires from you comes only as you submit to His leadership and
serve Him. Serving and leading others will be an outgrowth of your relationship
to the Lord Jesus.
Thinking It Over. How does the principle of
servant leadership apply to a pre-marriage dating relationship? What
kind of leader do you find easy to follow? How will a husband treat
his wife if he wants to win her trust and devotion? If you are a
father, do your children see servant leadership in you? What is the
relationship between leadership and accountability?
Curtis
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